Caption Contest Results

(This contest was conducted by Robert S. Klamka, and was never endorsed by this web site!)

　

　

The Mission:  To come up with the best caption for the photo above.

　

The Entries:

a)   WALTHAM - Flamboyant frontman Kevin McCabe of the acapella group "Tea and Crackers" brings down the house at local watering hole.
 
b)  "Yessiree Bob! Next year thur's gonna be sum BIG CHANGES round here !!"

 
c)  Sung in a down-and-dirty, bluesy, semi-drunken voice:
    "Kiss my pinstriped Yankee ass,
    Kiss my pinstriped Yankee ass,
    Kiss my pinstriped Yankee ass,
    You Red Sox loo-oosers."

d)  "This is dedicated to all my dart leagues bitches out there."
 
e)  "I'm a cowboy... on a steel horse I ride... "
 
f)   "...and lastly, I'd like to sing one of my favorite tunes for you folks... 'I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling' "
 
g)  "It's rainin' men...Hallelujah...It's rainin' men..."
 
h)  "Fahget softball, I'm the next Tom Jones (hic-up), look at this honey in the front row, she wants me...(hic-up) Vegas or bust!"
 
i)   "Sure, my handling of the pitching staff was questionable, and maybe the lineups were never consistant and I appeared drunk from time to time - but you gotta manage from your gut and with your hand down the pants."
 
j)  "Saskatchewan. S-A-S-K-A-T-C-H-E-W-A-N. Saskatchewan."
 
k)  "<Sigh> ...my name is Kevbud and I'm a fake softball coach"
 
L)   As Kevin approached the makeshift stage, the deejee offered him a microphone. With the slightest motion of his hand Kevin politely but definitively declined and pulled from deep within his pants a microphone of his own design. Though the metal mesh of the instrument showed severe wear, the enigmatic word "Sexcalibur" was clearly visible, scrawled on the base of the microphone in black marker in a handwriting more befitting a drunken houseboy than the fake coach of a softball team. As Kevin surveyed the audience, a hush fell over the room, partly due to Kevin's charasmaitc aura, partly due to the usual ebb in conversation that occurs from time to time. Using his words sparingly Kevin asked the tavernkeeper to place before him three cats of differing gender, weight and disposition. Moments later the tavernkeeper returned with only two cats for he could not find a cat of a third gender, having exhausted the genders at two. Kevin conceded that two would be fine, but that it works alot better with three. Confused but cooperative, the tavernkeeper placed the cats before Kevin. The cats seemed thoroughly disinterested in each other and their surroundings, each finding adequate recreation in dodging the rain of beer cascading down from the glass of a tipsy AAA. Then Kevin put the microphone to his mouth. At first he seemed to just be exhaling softly into the microphone, but then the crowd picked up on the almost
imperceptable tone that the master was emitted. It was louder the wind blowing through a field of grass but softer than Enya. Hypnotic and soothing the music had a sedating effect on the audience until they noticed the demeanor of the cats had accelerated from disinterest to debauchery in seconds. The cats engaged in all manner of sexual activity ranging from the banal to the downright inventive. By modulating his pitch, Kevin was also controlling the "intensity" of the event. After what must have been the longest two minutes in recorded time, Kevin stopped vocalizing and the feline peepshow ceased. A thunderous applause filled the bar. Kevin reholstered "Sexcalibur" and returned to his place at the bar. A female fan approached him and suggestively asked "I bet you drive all the ladies wild with a trick like that?" running her fingers gently up his arm. As Kevin lifted a pint to his mouth, he replied in an even voice, "Nope, it only works on cats."

　

The Winners are....

　

3rd place:D, submitted by Jakebud...
 
 "This is dedicated to all my dart leagues bitches out there."
 
 
 
2nd place: I, submitted by Coach McCabe himself!
 
"Sure, my handling of the pitching staff was questionable, and maybe the lineups were never consistant and I appeared drunk from time to time - but you gotta manage from your gut and with your hand down the pants."
 
 
 
1st place: L - Congrats to Bill Buckman, who will honor us by throwing out the first pitch on Sunday...
 
L)   As Kevin approached the makeshift stage, the deejee offered him a microphone. With the slightest motion of his hand Kevin politely but definitively declined and pulled from deep within his pants a microphone of his own design. Though the metal mesh of the instrument showed severe wear, the enigmatic word "Sexcalibur" was clearly visible, scrawled on the base of the microphone in black marker in a handwriting more befitting a drunken houseboy than the fake coach of a softball team. As Kevin surveyed the audience, a hush fell over the room, partly due to Kevin's charasmaitc aura, partly due to the usual ebb in conversation that occurs from time to time. Using his words sparingly Kevin asked the tavernkeeper to place before him three cats of differing gender, weight and disposition. Moments later the tavernkeeper returned with only two cats for he could not find a cat of a third gender, having exhausted the genders at two. Kevin conceded that two would be fine, but that it works alot better with three. Confused but cooperative, the tavernkeeper placed the cats before Kevin. The cats seemed thoroughly disinterested in each other and their surroundings, each finding adequate recreation in dodging the rain of beer cascading down from the glass of a tipsy AAA. Then Kevin put the microphone to his mouth. At first he seemed to just be exhaling softly into the microphone, but then the crowd picked up on the almost
imperceptable tone that the master was emitted. It was louder the wind blowing through a field of grass but softer than Enya. Hypnotic and soothing the music had a sedating effect on the audience until they noticed the demeanor of the cats had accelerated from disinterest to debauchery in seconds. The cats engaged in all manner of sexual activity ranging from the banal to the downright inventive. By modulating his pitch, Kevin was also controlling the "intensity" of the event. After what must have been the longest two minutes in recorded time, Kevin stopped vocalizing and the feline peepshow ceased. A thunderous applause filled the bar. Kevin reholstered "Sexcalibur" and returned to his place at the bar. A female fan approached him and suggestively asked "I bet you drive all the ladies wild with a trick like that?" running her fingers gently up his arm. As Kevin lifted a pint to his mouth, he replied in an even voice, "Nope, it only works on cats."